Dating Advice is Life Advice
I just published my first book, titled “Done Being Single: A Late Bloomer’s Guide to Love.” When I first submitted my manuscript to my publisher, they asked which category I thought it belonged in. The title says “single,” “late bloomer,” and “love,” so one could surmise it’s a relationship book for people in midlife. It […]
Stop Waiting For People To Love You
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the things we do for love. The knots we twist ourselves into, the hoops we jump through. In the pursuit of love (affection, acceptance, and approval too), we compromise our standards and abandon our identity. We work too hard, wait too long, and people-please the hell out of […]
Let The One That Got Away Get Away
We’ve all had that one that got away. It’s the boyfriend you dumped, the girlfriend that didn’t last, the relationship that didn’t work out, the marriage that didn’t make it. The one that got away may either be long gone, or still hanging around– if just in your mind. They have you reliving old memories, […]
Remember Flirting?
Remember flirting? You know, that thing you did when you were interested in or attracted to someone? You walked up to them, said hi, made small talk, shared a laugh, felt a vibe? Yeah, those days are gone. COVID might’ve been the last nail in the flirting coffin. It might’ve officially killed it off, but […]
Dating and Relationships Over 50: Things Women Say & What They REALLY Mean?? What Men Need to Know!
Unlike men, most women never really say exactly what they mean, especially during a festering argument when emotions are involved. Thus, many relationships have suffered the consequences of men taking a woman’s statement or response at face value. Today, writer and dating coach Treva Brandon Scharf, co-host of Done Being Single, offers her take on […]
If You Ask Me, Love Isn’t Blind Enough
Before online dating, before dating apps, social media, and the internet, there was this thing called a “Blind Date.” Your friends or family would fix you up with someone–like their cousin or cute dentist–and you’d say yes. First, you’d ask some questions, get some general information, a brief description, and a glowing recommendation, and that […]
A Bad Relationship is a Terrible Thing to Waste
“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” – Epictetus * * * I have a client who just broke up with her longtime boyfriend, and even though she’s heartbroken, she knew it had to end. The relationship wasn’t healthy, nor was […]
Put Yourself On Your Own Damn Pedestal
There was a time in my life when love was so elusive, when committed relationships felt so unobtainable, and marriage so out of reach, it had me convinced I wasn’t good enough, and that everyone was too good for me. I was in my late 40s, still single, and on a horrible losing streak. Nonstarters […]
Breaking Up With Donald Trump
We lasted four years together, which is shocking since I didn’t think we’d make it past his 2017 inauguration. I thought we were over so many times; I thought he was out the door; I thought we were splitsville, but after every fuck up, controversy, or scandal, he managed to hang in there, for better […]
Undecided Voters, Maybe You Should Rub One Out
I came across a Reddit thread the other day about “Post Nut Clarity.” I had no idea what the term meant, but the word “nut” gave me a clue. So after scrolling down a few hundred comments from mostly horny millennial guys, it became clear: Post nut clarity is an epiphany or realization you have […]
