Finally, the words I’ve waited fifty years to say: I’M ENGAGED. Why now you ask and not five years ago? Ten years ago? Twenty years ago? Not sure, but I think it has a little something to do with the right time, the right guy, and being in the right place emotionally and personally. Being a late bloomer had a lot to do with it, too.
Right before I turned 50 in February 2013, I gave up on marriage. I threw in the towel. I had enough.
I was tired. Tired of dating, tired of disappointments, tired of all the high hopes, false starts, nice guys who couldn’t close, and nice enough guys who couldn’t quite cut it.
I didn’t exactly quit, I just decided to accept my life as it was, which was pretty good.
I thought to myself: “Look around. Look at what you’ve created. Look at who you’ve become. Now pat yourself on the back and feel good about it.” Being single isn’t the worst thing in the world, I also told myself.
Here’s a little piece of advice for you single ladies out there wanting and waiting to get married: stop giving a shit. When you stop hyper-focusing and over-efforting, obsessing and worrying, that’s when the magic happen. Zen Buddhist philosophy says “Detach from the outcome,” and that’s what I did. There is beauty in surrender if you can do it; it just takes courage. Or in my case, it took plain old exhaustion. More about this in future posts, but for now, here’s what I can tell you:
When I let go, the right guy walked into my life and changed it forever.
So here’s a little bit about the right guy: Robby Scharf. He’s from my hometown of Beverly Hills, he went to the same high school, he studied music at Berklee School of Music, he works for Sennheiser (manufacturer of pro audio equipment), and he’s a volunteer coach for Special Olympics. We met through mutual friends on Facebook. He’s a good, kind, decent human being with a beautiful heart and soul.
At 56-years-old, he’s also marriage virgin and late bloomer like me.
At an age when most people are getting colonoscopies, we’re getting married. When it comes to wedding planning, it’s like the blind leading the blind. We’re total rookies here.
That’s why I’m starting this blog – to document my experiences, share my musings, and chronicle my journey as a 50-year-old first time bride. It’s not everyday someone this old ties the knot.
I’m also starting this blog for input and guidance since I know absolutely nothing about weddings. As an only child with no older siblings, and a working mom, I’m going to have to blaze my own trail here.
I’ve attended countless weddings as a guest or bridesmaid, but never took notes. I was either too drunk, having too much fun, or too busy flirting with the groomsmen to remember a thing. But thankfully, I have a lot of friends who’ve gone before me, and can show me the way.
My wedding pit crew consists old friends and new, divorced and happily married, and they’ll be my side as I attempt to navigate through this odyssey called wedding planning. Hopefully with their guidance (and yours, dear Readers), I will make it to “I Do” before I’m officially a senior citizen– which is just around the corner and down the aisle too.