Dating Advice is Life Advice
I just published my first book, titled “Done Being Single: A Late Bloomer’s Guide to Love.” When I first submitted my manuscript to my publisher, they asked which category I thought it belonged in. The title says “single,” “late bloomer,” and “love,” so one could surmise it’s a relationship book for people in midlife. It […]
Stop Waiting For People To Love You
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the things we do for love. The knots we twist ourselves into, the hoops we jump through. In the pursuit of love (affection, acceptance, and approval too), we compromise our standards and abandon our identity. We work too hard, wait too long, and people-please the hell out of […]
Let The One That Got Away Get Away
We’ve all had that one that got away. It’s the boyfriend you dumped, the girlfriend that didn’t last, the relationship that didn’t work out, the marriage that didn’t make it. The one that got away may either be long gone, or still hanging around– if just in your mind. They have you reliving old memories, […]
Remember Flirting?
Remember flirting? You know, that thing you did when you were interested in or attracted to someone? You walked up to them, said hi, made small talk, shared a laugh, felt a vibe? Yeah, those days are gone. COVID might’ve been the last nail in the flirting coffin. It might’ve officially killed it off, but […]
If You Ask Me, Love Isn’t Blind Enough
Before online dating, before dating apps, social media, and the internet, there was this thing called a “Blind Date.” Your friends or family would fix you up with someone–like their cousin or cute dentist–and you’d say yes. First, you’d ask some questions, get some general information, a brief description, and a glowing recommendation, and that […]
A Bad Relationship is a Terrible Thing to Waste
“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” – Epictetus * * * I have a client who just broke up with her longtime boyfriend, and even though she’s heartbroken, she knew it had to end. The relationship wasn’t healthy, nor was […]
Put Yourself On Your Own Damn Pedestal
There was a time in my life when love was so elusive, when committed relationships felt so unobtainable, and marriage so out of reach, it had me convinced I wasn’t good enough, and that everyone was too good for me. I was in my late 40s, still single, and on a horrible losing streak. Nonstarters […]
Falling In Love Is Scary AF
Falling in love is a death-defying act. You’re head-over-heels, topsy-turvy, with zero gravity, zero certainty, and no way of knowing which way is up. When you fall in love, you have no control, no grip, no balance. You’re vulnerable, powerless, dizzy, exposed. You don’t know how you’ll land, where you’ll land, or if you’ll land […]
Dating Post-50: You Just Might Get What You Need
So what does a single man in midlife looking for love really want? A lot less than you’d think. A few weeks ago I read an article about a widow in her 50s named Kerry McAvoy, who had just entered the online dating world after 30 years of marriage. What she found shocked her, but it […]
Single In A Pandemic? You’ve Got Options
How’s your dating life going since the pandemic? Non-existent or “what pandemic?” Has it ground to a halt or going gangbusters? Have you gone into hibernation or gone wild? Or, have you realized you just don’t give a shit and deleted all your dating apps? There’s no bad answer here. It’s a weird time to […]
