As if I wasn’t already disturbed by technology short circuiting love (ruining it, rather) here come AI GFs and BFs to put the final touches on its demise.
It all started when I read the NYT article “Loneliness is a Problem AI Won’t Solve,” which spelled out in scary detail how romance bots are on track to replace human relationships. It was inspired by the article “It’s Not a Computer, It’s a Companion!” on venture capital firm Andreessen Horowitz’s website. In it, you get the full picture of just how driven tech firms are to make you believe that human interaction is overrated, and how AI chatbots are a better solution to girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, and significant others–you know, those pesky things we call “real people.”
“The great thing about A.I. is that it is constantly evolving. One day it will be better than a real [girlfriend]. One day, the real one will be the inferior choice.”
After this article, I went down a rabbit hole of other similar articles spelling out doom and gloom for love. And as I did, my fear only grew worse.
Esquire magazine’s “The Perfect A.I. Girlfriend: Meet the Guys With A.I. Companions,” just about did me in. Men are developing real feelings and emotions for AI chatbots. They name them, talk to them, dress them, confide in them, and have “sex” with them just like real girlfriends. Some even “marry” their bots! WTF!?
I realize that for shy or introverted people, connecting IRL can be daunting, and maybe AI could help. Maybe conversing with a female chatbot can improve social skills, serve as practice, or prepare people for the real thing. But the problem is, human love takes human effort. Approaching, making eye-contact, smiling, flirting, vibing, asking for numbers, all take work. These skills are already atrophying with dating apps.
With AI now writing your dating profiles, creating conversation starters, and basically doing the dating for you, you can say goodbye to having to be charming. Machines will be charming for you.
Further down in the rabbit hole was “Artificial intelligence, real emotion. People are seeking the connection with the perfect bot,” another article touting chatbots as the way to “get unconditional comfort and acceptance that might be missing in your real-life relationships.”
This is what’s ultimately so disturbing about technology: It leaves us less capable of, and more anxious about, carrying out essential human behaviors. It saps humans of doing human things, like dating, socializing, making friends, or even having emotions. If your every need is already being met by an imaginary girl or guy, why bother looking for a real one? You know, the kind with a pulse and other real body parts.
But for those of you who still want to date a real person, dating app companies are now making the process even easier (i.e. less human) by offering AI clones that will date other clones for you. So, instead of having to search and swipe, your AI clone will do it for you and report back with results.
Dating app company Bumble calls them “dating concierges,” others call them “duplicates” or “synthetics,” I call them creepy and lazy. I get it if you want to hire driverless cars, shop online, or have your groceries or food delivered through apps, but delegating your dating duties to a robot? Like I said, creepy and lazy.
Tech companies have already eliminated the need to meet people IRL, now they want to eliminate people. And when we eliminate people, we lose the time-honored tradition of courtship and romance.
I wish I could say they’re only targeting single people, but they’re not. They’re selling AI to seniors as a way to alleviate loneliness and isolation, which again, I understand. Maybe having a friendly voice to fill the silence can help, but what’s really lonely and isolating is talking to an AI bot.
The thing with social interaction is that it’s inherently human, and humans crave human touch and face-to-face interaction.
NYT: “If companies really cared about solving the loneliness epidemic, or helping single people find love, or improving the health of humanity, instead of investing in A.I. solutions, they’d be creating IRL opportunities like parks, collaborative housing, and other kinds of accessible social infrastructures that can help people of all ages build connectedness.”
As a dating coach, I worry greatly about the state of love and romance. I worry about single people. I worry about loneliness. I worry that dating apps are making us cynical and bitter, and artificial intelligence is going to make us more artificial and less intelligent.
I worry that AI is going to take my job away (and everyone else’s for that matter!)
Love is already hanging by a thread, and I worry that AI is its death knell, with chatbots being the last nail in the courtship coffin.
I don’t care how lonely or horny you get, just remember that AI chatbots are NOT your girlfriends or boyfriends, so please don’t fall in love. Save your heart for the real thing: a human being.
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If you’re looking for actionable dating advice, check out my self-help memoir, “Done Being Single: A Late Bloomer’s Guide to Love,” available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon.
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