This is my personal pitch for people, because I still believe in them.

If it’s been a while since you interacted with a real live human being, you’re not alone (well, you are alone, so pun intended). We can go days on end without ever seeing another soul.

We don’t interact with humans because our lives are entirely online now. We shop, learn, exercise, stream, date, game, worship, and work on a screen, all without human contact. We’ve gotten so good at being alone we forgot all about people.

I’M HERE TO REMIND YOU THAT PEOPLE ARE PRETTY GREAT. 

Not all people, mind you. There’s some I don’t love (they know who they are), and some I’d rather do without (Donald Trump). Shitty people ruin it for everyone, and all it takes is one bad person to lose your faith in humanity.

Still, I choose to see the good. And except for those horrible ex-friends and a wannabe dictator president, I’d rather have people in my life than not.

I’m an only child, latchkey child, child of divorce, child of a working mother, and I was single practically my entire adult life, so I know first-hand what being alone feels like. I realized the value of people from an early age, so I cultivated those friendships and relationships and kept them close.

Do you need people? Maybe not. But a world without us seems very lonely—especially if there’s a part of you that still craves human love, human touch, and human connection.

NOTHING REPLACES REAL PEOPLE.

Not phones, screens, porn, bots, social media, AI, or solitude. You may think you don’t need us, you may have written us off as useless or annoying, but we do serve a purpose. We’re your community, your tribe, your support system, your warm body.

We’re a social species after all.

It’s easy to forget though when we’re so isolated. Blame it on the pandemic, technology, dating app fatigue, apathy, or just plain laziness, it’s clear that we’re “losing our patience for human complexity, losing our practice doing the hard work of partnership, and losing sight of the rewards that come from growing alongside someone,” says writer Faith Hill in her Atlantic article, “The Real Allure of an AI Boyfriend.”

LET’S TALK ABOUT SOME OF THOSE REWARDS. WITH A HUMAN, YOU GET:

👉🏻 Someone to kiss your boo-boos.

👉🏻 Someone to hold your hand when you’re scared.

👉🏻 Someone to hug and hug you back.

👉🏻 Someone to adjust your bra straps when you can’t reach them.

👉🏻 Someone to check in on you when you’re struggling.

👉🏻 Someone to give you the Heimlich Manuever when you’re choking.

Your phone can’t do all those things, I don’t care how smart it is.

Please remember that technology is not a substitute for friends, AI is not a real relationship, and your closest confidante should not be a computer.

PEOPLE MAKE YOU MORE HUMAN. 

If you still think people are worth knowing, follow psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel’s advice:

TALK TO STRANGERS. It’s the best way to meet people. 

As children we’re taught not to talk to strangers, but the truth is, everyone you know was a stranger before you met. And those strangers either became friends, or lovers, colleagues, spouses, etc. It started somewhere. You smiled, made eye contact, said hello, and next you knew, a connection was made.

Strike up a mini conversation while you’re in line, or in an airport, on a plane, at the gym, or wherever you’re in close proximity or have a captive audience. If they ignore you, move on. I promise there’s someone who wants to know you.

“When I think of the top places to talk to strangers, I think queues are fantastic,” Perel tells TODAY.com. When you’re waiting to go into a concert, or into a movie, or into an event…and you talk to people that are standing around you, she says. The line offers a unique low-risk opportunity to connect with others. You’re all waiting for the same thing, which means you have a common interest.

You have a host of shared experience that you’re about to have, and this anticipatory expectation already gives you a ton of things to talk about, says Perel. Plus, waiting gets boring, so why not chat to pass the time?

Perel suggests questions like: ‘What brings you here? Have you heard this person (or artist) before? Are you a fan? Where else have you seen this person?”

Creating micro-interactions is my jam, and I have more hot tips in my article, “8 Low-Risk Ways to Make the First Move (Women, I’m talking to you too!)”

WHAT ARE SOME OTHER THINGS YOU CAN DO TO FOSTER CONNECTION?

👉🏻 Tell an acquaintance you think they’re cool and want to hang out more.

👉🏻  Show a little vulnerability and tell someone you could use a friend right now.

👉🏻 Open up and share something personal.

👉🏻 Text or call a friend for no reason other than to say hi.

👉🏻 Ask someone out on a date. For god’s sake, do it already!

Before you get too good at being alone, before you write off friends as unnecessary, before you forget what real intimacy feels like, before you lose your faith in humanity, before fall in love with your AI romance bot or give up on of love altogether, please remember us people. We’re the best thing that can happen to anyone—especially you.

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For more actionable dating and life advice like this, check out my self-help memoir, “Done Being Single: A Late Bloomer’s Guide to Love,” available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon.

If you’re interested in working with me 1:1, apply for a free 30-minute discovery session here.

For more wit and wisdom, follow me @trevabme.

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